Yuki

Kevin and I took Yuki to the Human Society in Tacoma on Saturday. It was hard and there were tears. I knew we'd have to find him a new home when we go to Japan for four months anyway and was preparing myself to let him go. We took him earlier than expected because he was having a hard time adjusting to the baby and would walk/stand/sit on the baby. He would jump up on the bed and then go stand on him and look at me. It made me pretty mad. Still, he had been my baby for so many years I was very attached. I loved that neurotic, needy dog. He kept me company in Grand Forks when Kevin would work the 12 hour night shift. We found somewhere else for shelter in Oklahoma when the tornado shelters refused us entry because animals weren't allowed. I took him on hikes in Boise while Kevin was deployed. He loved to go for walks. He loved me, maybe too much and it probably wasn't healthy the way it was attached but it was unconditional. Kevin called the shelter today when Yuki didn't appear on the adoption list. It turns out he didn't pass the behavioral test and was put down Monday. I'm glad to know he won't be sitting in the shelter un-adopted for months, but I'm crushed. I feel like he didn't pass because of his attachment to me, and I feel like we took him to his death, prematurely. I hate it. I didn't say goodbye. We just dropped him off, he looked at me with his big brown eyes, and I walked away. I wish I had given him some last attention. I wish I had been there with him when it happened. It sucks. Kevin and I feel we did the right thing for our family, BUT

that doesn't make it any easier, and I wish that he didn't have to die because of it, not that it matters now. I know no one else like my dog, and I know he had major problems, but I loved him. I miss my dog.